Well, I've done it again. I have managed to run off another boss. This time it only took 2 months. Oh sure, he is saying that he was presented with an offer that he can't refuse because the new job will mean he is closer to his family, but he can't fool me. It is me, isn't it? This is the 5th boss that I have disposed of in 8 years.

Ok, so what's the big deal? Well, if you read the first blog, you may remember how I am tired of having to start over everytime time I get a new boss and that my previous boss had promised to promoted me in the August/September time frame. Then, he left. Then I had to explain it to my new boss. Now he is leaving. I have no clue as to whom I will report to next. I am sure however that it means that I won't get the promotion. I won't get the raise. I will have to sell my house and go on food stamps because I will not make enough money to make up for my wife having her salary cut in half when she went part time in order to stay home with the kids more. I will have to file bankruptcy and will probably get cancer. Come on, God. WE stepped out on faith and trusted YOU to take care of us. Why are YOU bringing this change again on me. Haven't I suffered enough?

Wait a minute... Why am I freaking out? Is it because I am a pessimist or because I lack sufficient faith? Maybe. Maybe it is my stubborness to try to know and do what is best for me while forgetting to do what IS best for me, but what is that? My boss leaving (all of them) caught me by surprise but they never caught God off guard. If I truly had faith, I would remember that every time that a boss has left, it eventually resulted in something good for me. When my first boss left, it got me out of a strained relationship with him. When my second boss left, it propted me to go back to school and finish my degree. When my third boss left, it resulted in getting a cool project and promotion from the new guy. AND when he left, I was able to branch out and grow and work on even more interesting projects. Now it is a wait and see game with this one leaving.

Maybe if I had real faith, I would remember that God said that he takes care of the sparrows, and that if he takes care of them, how much more will he take care of me. The fact of the matter is that I don't have the big picture in mind. Even if I could, I don't think that I would want it. God has ordained all things to point to His Glory. Maybe, just maybe, God is taking care of me through this as well and that this was part of his plan for me all along. You think? 2 out of the 5 don't believe in the God of the Universe. I have been able to share my faith with them in a real way by admitting who I was and who I am now. I was once a hopeless sinner with too many flaws to mention in desperate need of Grace. Now after Jesus got ahold of me, I am a hopeless sinner with many flaws in desperate need of Grace. I am not perfect or holy, but the one that took my sins and flaws and nailed them to the cross accepts me as I am. No longer with anger or judgement, but Grace and forgiveness. He has promised me that this life will be tough, but boy oh boy, will it get good someday.

Maybe, and just maybe, I should relax.

Till next time...
J