Confusion about my last post

Evidently there was some confusion about my last post. follow the link above and maybe you'll get a better idea about what I was getting at. It was more of a tongue-in-cheek commentary on their commentaries.

I have a quarterly review today at my job. I have been asked to think about what I want to do in the company. the problem is that I have no idea except that I want to manage people. I think that I have strengths in this area. I am nervous about the whole thing. I think it is because I generally think that there is a hidden agenda and an underlying conversation whenever there is a conversation or meeting taking place. I know that this sounds sick, but that is just where I am lately. I am pretty cautious of people in general.

I have been doing a lot of reading lately. There has been a stirring deep in my being that I can't put my finger on. I feel like there are some questions that I need to be answering, but I don't know what the questions are. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately as to who I really am and what makes me the way that I am. The thing about it is that I know by my actions that I am totally consumed with self, but I generally don't like myself. People carry around a lot of baggage of thier past, and I am no different. The key is to unload those bags, but when you don't know what is in those bags, it makes you hold on to them for fear that you may unload something that you find comfort in, no matter how messed up it is. What is it that I want out of life? Maybe that is why I am having trouble figuring out what I want to do with my job. Do I want to settle for general success and play it safe or throw caution to the wind and really take chances? There is a lot to be said for security especially when a family is involved.

I guess I will just keep reading, praying, and searching until I can answer some of the questions or can be comfortable not knowing the answers.

J...