Learning to live

Man, the older I get more more I thought that things wouldn't bother me so much. I mean, I thought that little things like traffic idiots or running late for work would be something that I am used to.

This is not the case. What I believe has happened is that somethings that I used to care about slip away, but other things seem to be more important. I am finding that sometimes minor disagreements with people only seem minor on the surface. Then there is the whole other argument/conflict/struggle that is underneath that is really a BIG DEAL. However, when you try to explain to people what the struggle is about, it comes across as petty. Then you look like a petty jerk.

Then I start thinking that "maybe I am a petty jerk. Ok, I will just get over it. Ok, I am over it." Then when I am not looking, WHAM, another bit of pettiness arises and it starts all over again.

Then there are the times in my life when the conflict comes to the surface. A lot of things are said and done, and no real conclusion is reached, but for some reason I feel better. Then the pettiness just seems to go away. Maybe it turns into apathy. Maybe it turns into just not caring anymore because I have other things to fill my time with. I don't know.

So here's to pettiness and lack of resolve?